This year, my birthday came and went on April 11. This is nothing new and we all experience it each year, yet every year it becomes a beacon of some sort. A whole new world of possibilities, a new chance to be ‘different’ or a ‘new you’. As kids, we wake up eager to be a year older, wondering what has changed and being asked by all our friends if we feel any different.
I never felt any different. In fact, I have gone my whole life wondering where the magic of birthdays was because it certainly wasn’t with me. Was I missing something? Was I somehow left out? This year I figured it out – you create the magic!
After my birthday I went back to my normal life, doing normal things and one day (about a week and a half ago) it hit me. I don’t want this to be my life forever. I don’t want to be happy just accepting the safe route. I want to wear clothes that make me feel risky, I want to try new things, I want to be LIVING in the moment. I don’t want to care about how others perceive me anymore and instead want to chase after the things that bring me joy.
(New Year) Authentic Me – Freedom Ritual
If you’ve ever wanted to break free of the chains of judgement and just live as your own person, or break free of your OWN chains, this ritual is for you. You will need:
- Small wooden chest or box of some kind (I buy mine from Michaels)
- Black taper or coach candle
- White Glass Jar Candle
- A Mirror
- Small offering
- 20 mins of time to be alone
To begin, go to a location or altar that you feel grounded to. Time of day is really irrelevant, as long as you feel completely open. Facing the west, place the mirror in front of you. On top of the mirror, place the white jar candle. Next, light your incense and close your eyes. Allow yourself a few minutes to meditate and center yourself.
When you feel fully centered, invite your higher power into this space with you. Ask them to be present in this moment as you work through your shadows. Light the white candle. Take the small box or chest and place it in front of you, open. Grab your paper and pen and start writing all of the things down that you allow to hold yourself back. For me, this looked like, “I feel fat” “I am not good enough” “I can’t do that” etc. Write down all of the things that you mentally tell yourself, regardless of their origin. Anything that you want to let go of, anything that stands between you and your best life.
When you have those written out, place them in the box. Close the box. As you are closing the box say out loud, “The items in this box no longer serve me. I give them to you (higher power) and will replace them with myself. I give these feelings, I give these thoughts.” Next, affix your black candle to the box and light it. As you light this candle say, “In this box I am leaving behind the lies I have learned, the thoughts that have held me back, and the past that is not my future.”
As the candle burns, meditate on a new future. What will it look like? How will you feel? What is your first step? Rome wasn’t built in a day, take baby steps to get to where you want to be. Reflect on the realistic first steps you can take. When you have them, take your offering and offer it to your higher power, closing the end of the ritual. Thank them for being here and supporting you along your journey.
As you go back to the real world, remember your intention throughout this ritual. Everytime that voice of doubt creeps back in, you are faced with a choice to allow it or to push against it and see what will happen. For me, that looked like this:
I had seen this hanging on the rack and thought to myself, “I could never wear that” and in that moment I flashed back to my intention and thought, why not? What is stopping me? So I tried it on. And i LOVED it. I didn’t end up buying it but that wasn’t the hurdle that I was getting over. The act of breaking through my thinking was and while uncomfortable, with the support of my guides I made it happen. Since then I have gone to a number of places, tried on many clothes, and made new friends.
All it takes is a little faith in you!
Temperance Alden is an Occultist, Folk Witch, and Author of Year of the Witch (2020). She is based out of South Florida.